Before You Walk Down the Aisle                  These are some important subjects to talk about together!   

SUBJECTS:   Finances          Children               Family/Friends          Miscellaneous      Home

CHILDREN

~Do we want to have children? If so how many can we agree on?
~How long should we be married before we have children?
~What is your parenting philosophy? How do you discipline? Is your style the same as mine?
~Will one of us stay home after we have children? Will we both work and use a carefully selected day care?
~What was your childhood like? Was your family Affectionate, Domineering, or Anti-social?
~What type of birth control should we use if we want to postpone or prevent parenthood for a time?
~How do you feel about adoption?

Bringing a Child into the Relationship
~If a children are being brought into this marriage, how does your future mate relate to the child or children?
~ How have you dealt with the rejection of your future mate by your child?
~Does your child get excited or withdraw when your fiancé comes in your door? If they withdraw this is a warning sign.
A child is intuitive and will know even before an adult that something is not right. Listen to the signs. There is an old saying that children and dogs know who is safe. It's true. If your child gets excited and loves to be around your future mate, then you are getting the green light in your relationship.

Blending Families
If both of you are blending families, how well do the children get along? Does anyone express feelings of being left out or not liked? How are these emotions being dealt with before you combine homes and lives?

Family Interference with Blended Families
How important are family members in assisting with a healthy blending? If family interferes (only you can decide if it is interference or assistance) and is not helping in the healthy blending of families, are you willing to ask them to give you and your new family time and space to develop the kind of relationship that will not be hurt or destroyed by that interference? Being strong now will set definite boundaries that your family will learn to live by.